So. Everyone pretty much got drunk again tonight. J, Z, and myself were the only sober ones. Again. And... thankfully no one really got sick as bad as last time but everyone was SUPER crazy.
I would go into detail but I just really dont feel like it. I think I'm having another one of those random bouts that I just have to get through. Ugh, ok this is going to sound so self dramatizing and I really dont mean it that way. But the majority of my life I've always had someone telling me what was wrong with me. Like I was too fat, not pretty enough, not sexy/appealing, too smart, the bookworm, antisocial, depressed, wore stupid clothing, etc etc. Whether it was super rude bully like people at school, the pretty girls, or just certain people at home... there's always kinda been someone.
Now, all of a sudden, there's no one doing that any more. And it is just blowing my subconcious crazy that its possible for people to just like me. I don't know why. So I keep jumping to these idiotic conclusions that people don't like me, but then I find out they actually think really highly of me and just... I dunno. It makes me tired.
Ugh. So now that you all think I feel sorry for myself (which I dont) or whatnot, I'm gonna go to bed. I'll talk about tonight later. Maybe tomorrow. Hopefully by then I'll have some Youtube videos as evidence to go along with the story. Goodnight.
[Hmm... this is supposed to be a happy journal. I guess I should say something happy before leaving so it meets the quota...]
I'm applying to go to Korea for an Intensive Language Program over the summer. The chances i'll get accepted are slim, but I'm applying anyway. I hope I get to do it. And Crew is going ok. Not quite so sore anymore, but I'm still just a little bit worried about balancing working out and the school work. I'm gonna have to just give the two week trial a go. -nod- And I'm not sure if I even have practice tomorrow... Hm.
Does this count? It better because I'm exhausted and I want to go to bed. So Good Night. <3